literature

Bathing Beauty ALTERNATE

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Literature Text

Bathing Beauty (Rewritten)

Spoken Intro:

Ladies and Gentlemen,
Mr. Webber is pleased to present to you,
His nice treat of the evening,
A pretty little solo by Christine Daae,
The most adorably stupid female lead of this age.

But first, for those of you,
Whose taste is a little more…………shitty,
The former ballet dancer turn stripper,
The most butchered character in the musical,
The mentally unstable…….Meg Giry.

Song:

I took a little trip to London, England,
I love Sierra..oh and Ramin too,
I simply couldn't see, why all the Phans refused to squee,
So stupidly I simply thought Poo-Poo,

But when at last I got into theater,
And found my little seat in which I sat,
I found myself estranged,
All the characters had changed,
And I wanted to hit Lloyd Webber with a bat!

And then, OYYYYY………EWWW

Bathing Beauty,TAKE A LISTEN TO IT!

Bathing Beauty, Oh my god,
Bathing Beauty, undressing now!
Such a travesty, Such a mess,
Bathing Beauty, needs to go.

Not only is it a bad sounding song,
But Meg's character is of course all wrong,
She was a sweet little ballet girl,
And now she's whoring all nightlong!

Bathing Beauty, Oh my god,
See her practically strip,
Wearing a little tiny costume,
Which she is quick to unzip.

Bathing Beauty, Oh My God

TRITE!

What a travesty, what a mess

EEP!

Bathing Beauty, Bathing Beauty

IT CRAWLS IN UR HEAD

Head, head, head, head

AAAAAAAAH!

Bathing Beauty, Making me mad,
See her practically strip,
Takin it off so peeps will pay attention,
Making Phans cry and scream aloud in protest,
Now I understand why so many were pissed,
Andrew Lloyd……….must get a grip,

Bathing Beauty, saying:

BYE-BYE
So this didnt turn out as well as I hoped, but I think its still ok. While I havent seen the show, (cuz I'm sadly a college American) but I have seen enough footage and heard all of the soundtrack, so I know it's not something for me. So, here is BATHING BEAUTY rewritten.
© 2011 - 2024 Becca5002
Comments15
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CatherinedeSilver's avatar
This is the whole show in a nut shell.
Now - to wash my brain of the song which is now stuck in my head. :bleh: